When I was home for Thanksgiving, I
had the most interesting conversation with one of my family members. I do not
know how the discourse began but one of my family members said a racial slur of
some sort and my brother immediately looked over at me to gage my reaction.
From there, I began to have a conversation with the family member next to me
about why that comment made me uncomfortable. However, this family member could not grasp the
concept of oppressive hate speech. At one point during the conversation, they
told me that they did not think that hate speech existed whatsoever. Eventually
I chose to cut off the conversation because we began talk to each other in
circles and were no longer being productive.
According to the American Bar
Association, the definition of hate
speech is speech that offends, threatens, or insults groups, based on race,
color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, disability, or other
traits. Essentially, it is any sort of language that oppresses a person because
of who they are. Going to a place like Rhodes, there is a constant discourse in
the classroom, or at least in the classes that I take, about the power of
language. We talk about how what we say can affect people even if it was not
our intention to do so.
I think what frustrated me the most
about this conversation was that I did not know how to approach the
conversation with a person that I thought should “know better.” I could not
understand how someone that I loved, respected, and valued so much could
disagree with me on something that I thought was common sense. We both left
that conversation unchanged and it still frustrates me to think that this
person that I care so deeply about does not understand the ways in which their
words so easily oppress others. They do not understand the difference between
being “offensive”
and being “oppressive.”
They still do not understand the concept of how the actual word that is being
said may not be oppressive, but everything behind the word is.
This instance is a reminder to me
that not every place is like Rhodes. Not all college students get to discuss
the concept that the word itself might not be oppressive, but what it
represents it. The context in which it was used and the way that it used to be
used matter. Therefore, words matter.
I come from middle-of-nowhere-Massachusetts, and I also find myself frustrated with family members who simply don't know better. They have grown up in the same middle-of-nowhere town their whole life, where everyone knows everyone and you are more likely to see a bear on your property than a person. In this town, everyone is white and Anglo Saxon and does not usually leave. This leads to my father, who has stayed their his whole life, to not have a wide range of experiences, especially with people of different race. After the election ideas were discussed, and we realized that I had many more topics I could touch on than he could, because he could not relate. This has caused him to say some cringe-worthy things, but I hope that the knowledge I have passed on has helped him to gain a more open mind.
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